The fact of the matter is – your career ends just below the manager level if you don’t know how to deal with people. If I’m hiring people and I need an engineer to work long hours, not get paid very much and do an excellent job implementing tedious crap – I’m going to hire the “Asain” guy. But if I need someone who is creative, who knows how to get others to work hard, to secure funding for a project, to design or manage others (i.e. to do a higher level job), I’m going to hire the guy who learned how to be social, friendly, persuasive, tactful, creative, etc. If being stuck doing tedious crap is your idea of success, then have at it.
From this perspective, when it comes to playing the violin for three hours by yourself or learning how to work as a team with your friends to get a ball in a net, I’m thinking the soccer game is not such a bad option.
At first glance, being a technical master may sound like success, but it keeps you out of management forever.
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The author of the article actually makes some interesting points that I agree with. I also like that she prefaced everything with
[quote article]I’m using the term “Chinese mother” loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I’m also using the term “Western parents” loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.[/quote]
She makes a great point here about Western parents: “They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital.” I think kids gain self esteem when they know what they are good at and what they aren’t so good at. Knowing the truth is important and I have no issues telling my kids when they make a mistake or even telling them that they aren’t very good at something. I just don’t make a big deal out of it.
On the other hand – while I appreciate pushing kids to try things they may think are too difficult(chess as a 4-year old, for example), I find her justification for “coercion” (Lulu’s piano piece) is really a matter of her not being able to teach very vell. There is a distinction between believing kids can perform well and using bone-headed techniques get them to perform well.
And I also have to say her empty threats were pathetic.
The fact that her daughter “snuggled up to her” afterward doesn’t cut it for me. Even physically abused children still love their parents.
I also think it is equally pathetic that Jed was going to let her give up and that her mom couldn’t find a more positive way to teach her. Sounds like the worst of both worlds to me.
Just because Lulu succeeded doesn’t mean that being an ass was the only way to make it happen. As a drummer and a juggler, I can say that taking a break from a difficult task can help you learn it faster. Also, teaching some more basic techniques before trying a difficult 2-hand pattern helps alot as well.
