[quote=svelte][quote=scaredyclassic]but i cannot have funw ith money. that’s the issue. it triggers enormous feelngs of guilt, thinking about spending it on jewelery or frivolities…
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For some people, stackin’ $$ high in the bank brings them the greatest joy. If that’s the case, who am I to judge? You ARE enjoying your money, just in a different way than I do.
But going for the $100 watch…I would warn against that.
When I was about 10, I wanted a blue velvet bedspread. Trying to analyze that from my adult eyes, I have no idea why. I just did.
I told my mom and next time we were at the store, I pointed out the one I wanted. It was expensive. She talked me into this blue shag-carpet looking bedspread at a fraction of the cost. We bought it. I hated it. We might as well have bought nothing because it brought me more pain than joy.
That is when I learned that if there is something I’m really set on, something of far lesser quality is probably not worth buying as a substitute.[/quote]
A blue velvet bedspread sounds so sensual. This may have been an early sexusl desire. Your mother’s interference with it must have been very frustrating. That pain you felt…the thwarting of desire and longing. How that velvet would have felt. You will never know. Transcendent pleasure was so close.
I think I want a blue velvet bedspread now. Of the highest possible quality. Unless it’s really expensive. Then I’ll go for the shag.
