I did a deep dive studying breast cancer last year, and one thing I discovered was that women with young children were much more likely to choose mastectomy – often double mastectomy – over lumpectomy than women without young children.
Why? I surmise it is because women are driven to be there for their kids at all costs. Nothing is more important to them than supporting their kids through childhood.
A very admirable trait, I might add.
I didn’t realize how much anxiety I had over the responsibility of raising kids until my youngest one turned 18. That month, I can clearly remember telling my wife it was as if I’d become weightless…I did not realize what a mental burden that responsibility was until it was gone.
So yes, I definitely do know what you are talking about CA.
At the same time, I agree with Scaredy that a person’s mental composition is pretty much complete by 5-7 yo. So as long as you have supportive relatives that could look after your kids should you pass, you should really relax and not worry so much about them. Of course I’m one to talk since I couldn’t do that myself.[/quote]
Interesting to hear that it was your youngest turning 18 that made you feel like the burden was relieved. I think that’s what many of us are aiming for. Elizabeth Edwards’ wish was to make it to her youngest child’s 18th birthday after hearing that her breast cancer had metastasized.
Unfortunately, we don’t have any living relatives other than my MIL who is barely able to take care of herself at this point. I think that’s why I get so stressed about it. One of my dearest long-term friends (since 5th grade) and her husband agreed to be our kids’ guardians; but, in the meantime, they’ve had four kids of their own and a heart attack and stroke between them (and they are health nuts!). Just not sure that they could handle it now, but I’ve not pushed the issue with them. Don’t want to hear that they’ve changed their minds.
Being a parent is incredibly scary. All of a sudden, you become very concerned about the future of society and the world, IMO.
Agree with your assumption about women with BC. There are a lot of young mothers out there who’ve discovered they have the defective BRCA gene and are opting for prophylactic bilateral mastectomies (and oophorectomies, going into surgical menopause), too. Anything to be there for their kids.
