I’m knocking on wood that I have many more years before I come to the same situation, but know it could be any time since both sets of parents are mid-70s.
Your MIL may (or may not) actually be making rational decisions, just using different criteria. She may be placing more value on your family’s well being and independence, a desire to maximize what’s left of their quality of life, etc.
For many elderly, the issue of becoming dependent on someone, and in their view, a burden, is traumatic. Moving in with family often means a perception of loss of independence, isolation from friends, defeat and depression.
From a care standpoint, being with your family is best. At some point, each of us is going to face a transition in illnesses from prevention, to combating, to hospice.
In America, our medical establishment is extensively focused on combating. We under emphasize hospice and the non-physical natures of illness and aging.
