sorry, no tv. that’s covered under a separate household rule.
i see that there has to be pain and pleasure mixed in. i figure the penalties can come along the way; do your homework today or [insert negative consequence] …
work with him to get things done…have a battle plan of what’s done when…
he’s an odd duck. don’t know that there’s a particular activity that would inspire him. he’s very resistant to punishment. We have a legendary family story where he was once given a “time out” in early elementary school and told to stand outside the door to the classroom outside. The teacher forgot about him and realized she hadn’t heard from him for sveeral hours. He was contentedly sitting on the floor watching ants. He would probably do better than the average person in solitary confienemnt, so normal deterrents may not work…
i agree with the unimportance of grades. and yet…school today is different than it was when we were growing up. the homework is punishingly, noxiously overbearing. it is much more like a job, much more like a factory. grades may not matter in any real sense, or even in how one “turns out”, but ont he other hand, society sees more punishing and less forgiving of all failures now than it used to.
plsu, just financially, good grades can serve to reduce future education costs. that seems to be worth something.
i mean, if yoou’re on the fence between an a and a B, and some money can push the kid to the A, is that actually damaging the kid?
why is it one exteme or the other? what if you’re a kid who’s curious, who’s naturally lazy, who’s fairly smart, whoc ould do well if pushed a bit, who’s liekly to be a middle class professional type at the end of the day whether he realizes it or not, whose family is supportive regardless but wouldn’t mind him going to a cheaper, better UC school…why not try to set up a system that tends to push him toward that? So that he can”figure it all out on is own”? maybe that’s the only way to do it. but clearly we don’t raise oour kids in such a way that they figure everything out ont heir own. we set up their whole lives basically to instill what we think is important in them and to get them to behave basically how we want.
