[quote=CA renter]
It’s fine to be selfish and stay single.
[/quote]
I’ve always thought this was a silly argument: “You want to stay single because you’re selfish.” It’s right up there with, “You don’t want children because you’re selfish.” YOU got married because YOU wanted to, right? You weren’t doing it as a favor to someone else. YOU wanted to get married and your husband felt the same way from his vantagepoint. That’s pure self interest. Thus, YOU (and your husband) are selfish. Likewise regarding kids. The world doesn’t need more kids, so YOU having kids is a reflection of YOUR OWN selfishness to have YOUR OWN children. My point is that everything we do is a result of our own selfishness. I certainly don’t think wanting to get married and having kids is more selfish than staying single, but please… don’t try to spin it the other way. It’s absurd if you think about it. I’m selfish; you’re selfish; your husband is selfish and so on…
[quote=CA renter]
None of us are trying to change you or your opinions. Why do you and dave feel the need to constantly criticize *our* choices and opinions? Why do you feel that we (who actually have experience and knowledge about marriage) are fooling ourselves because we don’t agree with you?[/quote]
More often than not, these issues are brought up by other folks and – speaking for myself – I chime in with my opinion, which happens to conflict with your own. I don’t see this as a problem. This is a discussion forum after all. I certainly don’t care if you defend the institution of marriage, no matter how misguided I think your position is. I believe most people fool themselves about marriage because (1) the stats are out there (regarding divorce, extramarital affairs, etc.), and (2) my own vast experience watching married couples.
I could reverse the question and ask YOU… “Why do you feel that just because your marriage is fine, that this applies to most other marriages when the evidence suggests otherwise?” That’s a rhetorical question.
