Part of the problem is cultural. In goal-oriented, forward-looking cultures (like America) people assume that close friendships and even marriage will “fit into” the empty spaces after education, work, and other responsibilities have met. In more relational, process-oriented cultures people assume the opposite – work, education, etc., take second place.
There are pros and cons of each type of culture. Try and get your phone or car fixed in a place where relationship is more valued than completing a particular task! Oh boy…that mentality can really be a problem. On the other hand, more and more Americans report that they are lonely and disconnected…that they spend day after day paying bills and feel strangely unconnected from other people – even family members at times.
What’s the solution? I think it is to take some time to focus on close friendships/relationships. Make that one of your core goals. The time spent will at first seem wasted, but in time the harvest will be enormous.
