paramount, there is a scene in a movie that I want you to check out. In “shawshank redemption” there is a guard who just inherits a large sum of money from his brother and complains that his brother screwed him because now he has to pay the taxes on the inheritance.
When you watch it, say to yourself “what person do I know that reminds me of that character,” and if you don’t answer “yourself,” watch it again.
Seriously, I don’t even know you and you are the most negative person in my world. For your sake, find something that makes you happy and do that, then do it again and again. This anger and envy is going to wreak havoc on your health, well being and those around you.
I don’t say this to engage you in an argument, I say this coming from experience, at a point in time, many years ago, I think I was you. The world was rigged against me, everyone was more fortunate, luckier or just had it easier than me. I was miserable and I made others miserable around me, I had to kill their joy or it would expose my lack of it. At a regular check up my physician tried to put me on anti-depressants just from what he heard in a five minute conversation.
I’m not even sure how I changed or why, but it was probably a combination of fifty things, yet it happened so I know you can do it. I do know that it took a close friend to tell me that I was the problem before I took a look in the mirror. I know I’m not your good friend or even a friend, in fact I’m your nemesis, but someone has to start you on your journey.
Here is a starter kit for changing your perspective, it’s gonna sound douchy, but just pick a few.
1. Make it your mission to give one person a compliment each day. Pick someone with the least things that should be complimented and find one good thing about them and compliment then on it. If it’s a woman, compliment her shoes, it’s non sexual, men really don’t care but women spend a great deal of time on shoe selection.
2. Go buy four books, get the Tao Te Chi and put it in the bathroom, read a passage a day. Then read The five people you meet in heaven, Frankl’s man’s search for meaning and shackletons endurance. Frankl and shackleton’s experiences will allow you to see that nothing can break you and nothing that you have to deal with even gives you the right to complain, that your worst day would be their best and that obstacles are a gift, a gift that allows you to learn and grow.
3. Buy a convertable, even if it’s cheap and old and maybe a little too feminine, they are just fun.
4. Drink wine, smoke cigars, watch porn, all three have more positive effects than negative ones.
5. Pick a sports team, identify with it, learn everything about it and be a fan, it’s fun, plus even if you stay a total grump, it gives other guys some reason to talk to you at parties.
6. go to parties, bbq’s, events and festivals. Always chip in and bring more than they ask you to. If they ask you to bring a bottle of wine, bring five and bring good stuff. If they ask you to bring an appetizer, bring something that will blow their minds. Let them know that they are important and you are grateful, don’t do the minumum.
7. Splurge on yourself a little. Buy a Nat nast shirt or a Robert Grahm, it’s not the money, but wearing a $100 shirt makes you feel like a million. Buy a used one on e-bay.
8. Remember that each time you speak, your words can do two things, they can hurt and supress or they can encourage and support, think twice before speaking and choose the latter.
9. Buy a stranger a drink or a meal, random soldiers are perfect for this, tell them you appreciate them, thank them, the look in their eyes will stay with you for years. Or just hold a door for elderly women and engage them in conversation, it’s actually fun, old ladies will crack you up if you talk to them or help them.
