I have to completely agree with you about your thoughts on living in 4S with regard to convenience–especially with children. We have friends who live there, and love it–for all the reasons you have mentioned. Carmel Valley is also another great community you might like–again, for all the same reasons.
My wife and I were raised in La Jolla, and we raised our kids in Rancho Santa Fe where we still live. In both of these communities you do a LOT of driving as a parent, and in general, so choosing a “Planned Community” will definitely save you lots of time over the years.
