Other than your beliefs about sex offenders and the work ethic of SAHPs (and it seems I know quite a few more than you do), I agree with some of the points in your post. The problem is that you’re ignoring a lot, too. **Very few** divorced people can afford to live “in the manner to which they have become accustomed,” irrespective of their work/SAH status. That’s because the family pie is being divided, and without having a new source of income (new spouse, inheritance, unexpected raise, etc.), BOTH parties will be living on less while having to support TWO households after the divorce with the same amount of assets/income.
I know countless people, both men and women, who were working full-time throughout their marriages who NEVER got back to where they were before the divorce. That’s because most people in a marriage, especially a first marriage with shared children, do not consider their family estate as only being half theirs (or any other percentage). They think of the family’s estate as being ALL theirs because they think of themselves as part of a single family unit. That’s why everybody feels ripped off in a divorce — nearly EVERYBODY is made financially worse off after a divorce because you are receiving a fraction of the income/asset pie, but adding so many other expenses as a result of running two households instead of one. Most married people are just scraping by today; it’s not the least bit surprising that divorced people are struggling even more.
But I would agree with you that a second (or subsequent) marriage — especially where there are children from prior marriages — is different from a first marriage where both parents are having their first children together, and where they’ve not yet reached max wealth/income-earning capacity. Both people in a new second+ marriage need to protect the interests of their individual children (just IMO, as I know some people think that parents should throw their children to the wolves and not consider their prior children’s interests in estate planning if the parents divorce and remarry). Subsequent marriages are a totally different deal unless the new spouse is working full-time caring for their spouse’s children or parents, in which case they should be fully compensated in the event of a divorce.
But you still didn’t treat zk appropriately, and you most definitely twisted his words and claimed that he was saying things that he absolutely never said. I’ve been on the receiving end of that sort of treatment, so know how frustrating it is. I will defend posters whenever I see that sort of behavior; it degrades the conversation, and is totally unfair to the posters who are victimized by it.
