One often says that when you’re buying a new car, try to keep the new car purchase separate from the trade in…Think about that one for a moment…
I wouldn’t say you’re getting completely screwed, but it does sound like that brother/agent is trying to do the best he can to make sure you don’t get the home at the price you want. while at the the same time trying to do a loan too that may/may not be the best you can do.
(I think you owe it to yourself to apply for an external loan, possibly at the same time you’re going through with the loan with said agent.)
I guess the more important question you should ask really is how badly your wife wants this house, and is she ok with “seller pays 25% of closing”? The answer to that question is all that matters. Or better yet, ask your wife to post the question here herself. That way, it removes you out of the equation (so she can’t get mad at you either way). Remember what you said. You’re going to pay X. She can pay Z-X, where Z is the total cost of the home. 🙂