1) My GF knows how much I make, how much I save, and how much I have saved in general terms. She doesnt need to know that I spent $7.62 on lunch today. She doesnt need to know I save alittle more than I let on, cause I am a saver and hate the thought of being broke.
Think of it on these terms: “how much do you want your BF involved in your finances?” My GF didnt know hardly any of it till we moved in together either. It wasnt her buisness until then. (she became dependant upon me to pay my half, she deserves to know I can. and Vis-Versa)
2) Whatever you do, dont go telling him that you “found” his W-2 and are pissed he didnt tell you about his withholdings. It smacks of gold-digging and deciet on your part. If he wanted to share those things, he would have. And he wont believe you “found” it.
If you want to know what is up with him, ask why he doesnt have more financial flexability. Say you would like to plan a nice vacation together, but need to know how much he can afford. When a very small number comes back, tell him you find that strange and give him a chance to come clean on his own. Then IF he does, forget you ever ever saw his W-2. If he doesnt, deal; and you cant deal with it, find a new man. That is your choice. But confronting him with his W-2 will end up with the second choice EVERY SINGLE TIME. Money may be important to women, but it is Ego to men; and forcing him to admit he doesnt have enough of either will be disasterous to any relationship.
A female friend of mine did this a few years ago. She “found” his returns and found out that he was making over 100k. She was SO happy it wasnt funny. The next day she went finding for his bank reciepts (wondering about housing DP’s and where it would get her) and learned he had almost no savings. Turns out the guy liked to gamble. He wasnt very good at it. She was PISSED! She confronted him, and that 7 year relationship was over.
