MIL has been reluctant (refusing) to have in home help more than a few hours a day, a few days a week. She’s old and getting frail, and starting to show signs of dementia, and physically is no longer able to handle the physical demands of caring for FIL. It’s getting to the point where FIL needs better care than she’s able to provide with assistance.
His last CT (after a fall from his wheelchair) showed that he’s had more small strokes – the end result is that he’s not able to assist as much in transfers to/from the chair. So more strength is needed to do the transfers… right when she’s getting weaker.
Unfortunately, she isn’t recognizing her limitations. Social workers are involved, etc. We’re exploring getting guardianship/conservatorship of both parents. But that’s going to be an emotional firestorm because of the denial factor.
They aren’t currently in CA – so my sister in law is dealing with the front lines. But we all want them back here. MIL is putting up roadblocks to that and making unreasonable, and impractical suggestions for the next steps. Denial and dementia is a bad combo.
Unfortunately, the legal system is set up to make doing the right thing (conservatorship) a very expensive legal process if the conservatee fights it. It’s a court proceeding, with hired specialists, etc. We’ve done the initial discussions with an attorney – but the family hasn’t reached a decision on the next step.
