It doesn’t surprise me that banks aren’t acting in their own best interest… they didn’t on the way up, either.
May I ask an impertinant question? If the home had kept its value would you be staying in the home? Are you going through foreclosure because the home lost value, even though you still have the means to pay the mortgage you obtained?
I have friends who are pursueing a short sale – but in their case they lost one of the two household jobs. They are going back to renting a smaller place to live within their downsized budget. It sounds, from your tale, that they may stand a better chance of getting the short sale approved since they have a documented “distress” with the job loss.