I’m probably in the same boat as you. I’m also hitting the big 30 this year and am not quite ready yet with my 20% down payment, but am getting closer. I do feel that this is definitely the goal to shoot for.
For the 401k, I am putting in the max that my company will match; I figure that that’s free money. I ramped this up as I got raises so that I wouldn’t feel it. I also am putting the max I can into a Roth as well.
I did get lucky and was able to buy an inexpensive (relatively to Cali) house in AZ. I rented it out for a couple years then sold it a bit off peak. Without that, I wouldn’t be close to having enough for a down payment.
Now, I use some of that money for risky investments and some for more “boring” investments. I also paid off all my credit cards after I sold the house as well. Being on the wrong side of compound interest makes it hard to save. Plus, I found when I had a credit card balance, it was very easy to tack more junk on to it.
Now I’m at that saving money stage. This is by far the hardest to me. It’s difficult to drive a corolla when your friends drive benzes, but I am going on the assumption that credit will be hard to come by for a while, and cash for a down payment will be king. One thing that is helping is putting money into CDs. I find that making some interest is nice, and having the money “locked up” stops me from being tempted to spend it.