If your work depends on being close to San Diego I can’t help you, but if location is flexible why not Temecula?
I know — the San Diego snobs will be shooting me down in the next post — since Temecula has grown too fast, has traffic problems and is hotter than the coastal areas.
Now that we are past that, you should be able to buy something quite nice between 300 and 500k, and the schools are excellent. The Temecula Children’s Museum is brilliant, and there are many services relating to recreation and education.
I have lived in both Temecula and Murrieta and really think there are many good aspects of these communities for families.
Okay San Diego folks, have a rip at me for even suggesting this.
JS
PS: and by the way, there are many well-developed areas here with recent, fire-resistant homes away from canyons and hills that are likely to burn.
