When we had our oldest – both my husband and I switched from full time to part time. It was a good job market at the time so we were in a position to negotiate. Neither of us went back to full time – 13 years later, although I’m less part time than I originally was.
My husband just put in his paperwork for retirement and will be a full time SAHD. This works well for our family, him taking early retirement… since our kids attend non-neighborhood schools and the driving has increased.
We have neighbors who’ve taken turns with the SAHP thing… And the working parent aggressively pushing their career. Now both are working – but the kids are teenagers. I think the dad (who took at least 7 years off when the kids were younger) is working part time… but working as a professional. (Both are highly educated engineers.)
I agree with the statements that you should not get married unless you are sure. And that you should be on the same page about kids and finances before you get married. And if you’re planning on kids – parenting expectations should be figured out ahead of time.