[quote=FlyerInHi]zk, if your wife can notice an out-of-place paper clip, and she married you, then you can’t be that bad. [/quote]
Not true. It was a massive adjustment for both of us. I’m probably 97% neater than I used to be. And for her to overlook (or clean up herself) that last 3% is probably harder for her than picking up after myself is for me (and that’s pretty hard).
[quote=FlyerInHi]
Trust me, you’re lucky to have married your wife.
[/quote]
Truer words were never spoken. But it’s got nothing to do with neatness.
[quote=FlyerInHi]
I bet she keeps a nice fresh home where you’re proud to invite people over.
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Our home is super fresh and extremely neat and clean. We are proud to invite people over. But there are disadvantages to having a neat-freak wife:
We have a very large back yard with a bocce ball court, a covered patio, a built in bbq, an iron gazebo shaded by bougainvillea, a fire pit, a putting green, a horseshoe pit, a huge cabana with a 60 inch tv, a lawn big enough for croquet or badminton, and a 270 degree view. Perfect for entertaining 60 or 70 people. But she won’t have more than three couples and their kids over at a time. (She tries to keep it to two couples, but will allow three in a pinch.) Because it would freak her out to have the house that messy just between the time it got messy and when we finished cleaning up. And somebody might, god forbid, spill something on the carpet. Given the option, I’d take both large parties and some messiness rather than neither.
Also, when I have a poker game or a football draft at my house, everybody has to stay outside (in the cabana) except to use the bathroom. And they have to go around the house and through the garage to get there.
I managed to get permission to have a small super bowl party last year. Had about 20 or 25 people over. It took me a year to get permission, and I heard about it for a month after. Not doing that again.
So there are disadvantages. But, hey, to make a marriage work, you have to work together and compromise. I do most of the giving in this particular area, but she more than makes up for it in other areas.
So, I don’t see myself as lucky that my wife is neat. I see the advantages of it, but overall it’s not a benefit.
[quote=FlyerInHi]
If you had married a messy woman, your life would have gone downhill quickly. [/quote]
Brian, you seem to have this strange idea that if a person’s bed isn’t made, they’re living a horrible existence. I couldn’t care less if my bed is made. I only make it because it makes my wife happy.
I understand why she wants the bed made. I understand why you want the bed made. My wife understands that I don’t care if the bed is made and appreciates when I make it for her. What I don’t understand is why you don’t understand that to some people it’s ok that the bed is not made.
I grew up in a messy house and it didn’t bother me. I lived in a messy house before I got married (clean for the most part, but messy). It didn’t bother me. If I had a messy wife, I’d have a messy house now, and I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t bother me. If it did bother me, I’d tidy it up.
[quote=FlyerInHi]I’ve seen bad situations in my peers, friends and acquaintances. One guy owns 2 houses and both of them are clusterf–k! [/quote]
Is he happy or unhappy? That’s what’s important. Not whether his bed is made or his living room is uncluttered.
[quote=FlyerInHi]
Messy people know that there’s something wrong with them that’s why they are too embarrassed to have people over. They only meet people outside the home. That’s a telltale sign of a messy person.
[/quote]
There’s something wrong with them? You’re judging people because they’re messy? It seems to me like there’s something wrong with you. Lacking empathy and judging people over unimportant things is, in my opinion, a way bigger problem than being messy.
[quote=FlyerInHi]
I’ve read that hoarding is a disease that gets progressively worse. A friend is dating a women whose mom is a hoarder. Since they moved in together, the apartment has become more cluttered. They keep on buying cabinets to put useless things in. I wonder if hoarding is hereditary but, either nature or nurture, I don’t think the nuts fall too far from the tree.
[/quote]
Hoarding is different from messy.
