[quote=flu]See, what I’m seeing is that if boys don’t like each other, they get kinda physical and start pushing each other around or hitting each other. When girls (inclusive of my kid) don’t like each other, they start saying stuff like “I’m not going to be your friend/we’re not going to talk to you.”… Is that consistent with what other parents see?[/quote]
Caveat: I am not a parent. But girls are generally discouraged from expressing aggression and anger overtly, which leaves covert bullying of the kind you describe (manipulation, and using exclusion from friendships as punishment.) Boys who get in physical fights get punished to some degree by parents or the school administration, but it is not treated as beyond the pale as much as physical altercations between girls would be… it is almost expected that boys will get in shoving matches and occasional fights.
If you’re interested in reading about this sort of thing, “Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls” wasn’t bad (but a bit disorganized, and didn’t provide much discussion of productive ways of dealing with girl bullies.) http://www.amazon.com/Odd-Girl-Out-Culture-Aggression/dp/B0013L2DZ0 I’ve actually got a copy if you want to borrow it.
