[quote=davelj][quote=Russell]
The people I hang out with and have watched over the years value keeping their word. I have always avoided anything more than incidental contact with people who lie to their partners. This is not to say I think everyone honest can, or will, succeed at monogamy, just that some will be 100% truthful about it. I understand if you can’t imagine that scenario. Maybe it is rare.
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I think you should rephrase that as, “The people I hang out with and have watched over the years have been successful at convincing me that they value keeping their word.” Some of them actually do value keeping their word. In my experience, however, for many it’s just an act. I know plenty of married dudes who convince their friends who are like you that they don’t lie to their partners because you aren’t the sort of guy they’re going to be truthful with about such things. Under the MAD (mutually-assured destruction) principal, most guys who cheat only discuss such things with single guys who empathize with their plight and married guys who are also out hound dogging around.
I can imagine the scenario you’re talking about and I accounted for it in my original post. But, yes, I think it’s rare.
As a thought experiment ask yourself this: How many guys in this group that you think don’t cheat and are 100% truthful, etc… if they were on business in NYC – far from home – and met a very hot woman that comes onto them hard and heavy and asks for one night of sex, absolutely no strings attached whatsoever (no exchange of business cards, money or anything), would turn it down? Would you? Maybe… but I doubt it. This has nothing to do with you, personally (I don’t know you, after all), but rather that the number is so low that if I generalize about 100 men, I’ll be wrong so rarely that’s it’s not worth contemplating.[/quote]
Good idea not to make it TOO personal. I think my friends would not be impressed by the New York scenario. Nothing I can do about your doubts, Dave. I would turn it down because although I have the “pegue” to merit such a situation and it has happend to me,I would have serious concerns about the intentions, and state of health, mental and otherwise of such a woman.It wouldn’t be my style. One rule I had even when I was single was not to do one night stands.Similar to not playing russian roulette.
You would be surprised at the effect this has on women. Maybe you would like a mentor Dave?