Absoutely agree with your post and it’s great that you and your husband have a system that works. The system i outlined works for the wife and me. I’d have no problems tinkering on cars with you but our systems would be incompatible for a relationship (not that it was every headed there……:)
Sure im old fashioned, she is too, and that is what works for us. Im not at all bitter or intolerant of other people’s arrangments unless they infringe on mine. I’ll withdraw the ‘free rent’ comment. You are correct, it isn’t exactly free, and yes, i’ve taken care of the kids……it isnt nearly as much work as the wife makes it out to be…..but regardless of that it is a responsibility much more worthy of compensation than any salaried job ive ever held.
Front loaded vs. back loaded is a good way to look at it. You’re spot in with that one. Ive never denied that women deserve their due….what ends up undermining that deserved due are the few women who needlessly whine about entitlement with unreasonable expectations and blame their ex for anything which ails them.
It sorta comes down to a good attitude (including seeing it from the other person’s point of view) and personal repsonsibility. Both men and women i know who have had productive marriages, and reasonable divorces seem to have a good helping of both.
Jasper
P.S. To you and the other sensible women out there….it is a breath fresh air to read the words from a reasonable and mature standpoint. Any chance you are Marion’s alter ego <:)