[quote=CA renter][quote=bearishgurl]…In your case, divorce would be much, much more expensive than an interstate move and our domestic courts in CA urban coastal counties have a minimum two-year wait for trial. In any case, CA law favors a 50/50 child custody timeshare between parents (if contested) and the courts prefer both parents working and filing income and expense declarations before they will issue permanent support orders. Suffice to say your life will change 180 degrees if you split up after moving here due to you both not being on the same page with one another. If this happens, you could lose your freedom to move back home (unless you want to go back alone) and your case could easily get drawn out for YEARS. Trust me when I say that you don’t want to go there!
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Excellent point, BG. This could end up being a HUGE deal where NYmom would lose, big time, if she were to move out here and subsequently divorce while in CA. She could find herself in a position where she might never again be able to have her kids and family in the same state, at least not full-time. Potentially giving up this right needs to be fully thought out before any decisions are made.
It sucks that some of us sound like Debbie Downers, but it’s this sort of gut-wrenching truth that can (hopefully) help people make fully informed decisions.[/quote]
yeah, donald downers too. it’s not just women who can be downers. guys can be downers…
this would freak me out. i would not expect anyone to be happier post move than premove, and if he’s unhappy now, it’s not inconceivable he’ll b e unhappier later. maybe the problem isn’t the location, he reasons later, once he’s in the new location and finds himself no happier, maybe it’s this woman. then you’re the one trapped, just like he was “trapped” in NY. on the other hand, it really is terrible to emotionally negotiate and navigate witha legal compass such matters in what is theoretically at leasta completely 100% committed relationship. plotting and thinking about your next move within a legal framework ofrights and remedies sheesh. what kind of way is that to be married? you might as well be a litigant.
on the other ahnd, you’d be a fool not to think this through.
please dont take anything im saying as legal advice. consult with your own attorney versed in NY and CA family law in particular.
screw RE websites. go on one of those divorce chat groups and see if any alarm bells go off…