Based on 50 years of observation I have decided that if I knew pretty much anyone very well I would see that they are really not in a position to judge what other people do. We are all so easy to disqualify from that role.
On this thread some people expressed the idea that friends and family would be “mean” to stay at home dads, I think only a person who doesn’t have any friends could say that. What kind of family is that? With my friends I am sure that amongst ourselves we judge each other or have some jealousies at times , but it isn’t like we torture each other over differences. My main feeling is that my friends want me to be well and happy and be in their lives. My brothers and sisters seem to always have been more or less proud of me…but if they weren’t , hey too bad.
There are only two people in a relationship that have to see the value of what the other person brought and brings to the relationship/family and does. That said, in terms of the way we do things,I have gotten pretty good feedback/treatment and most of the direct negativity has been in my own head. My in-laws are probably a little bewildered but they can see we are doing at least as good of a job as they did. It is going a lot better than many people who are dependent on two incomes or compelled to have two full time incomes. Not that some aren’t doing fine. A lot of families under duress by that though. Recently, a elderly woman who works at the local hardware store and is also my neighbor, announced to the other employees around and to anyone else nearby, ” here is the worlds greatest SAHD!”. I know a lot of people feel that way, or positive about it anyway, not many men who are not my close friends probably, but I think most men have too much “jerk” in them anyway. Maybe that’s unfair but It doesn’t appear reasonable to expect much from the typical guy on this one.
