Agree with everything that has been said and even laughed at a few of your thoughts dude. They mirror mine exactly.
Just expanding in Clairemont does sound to be an attractive option if you’re ok with the neighborhood (not that you shouldn’t be).
The square footage one deems acceptable does change as kids get older – we raised ours in the range your wife prefers but I can tell you there were times we wished we had more space. Then I think back and realize that just two generations ago our relatives raised 4 to 6 kids in 1200 sf. It must have been a zoo.
I guess the biggest thing I have learned over the years is that my taste in homes, home sizes, and neighborhoods have changed and will probably continue to change. There are only so many years into the future you can project with any sort of accuracy regarding your wants/needs.