djrob, thanks for sharing your story. A couple of comments.

OK, you were dumb. You’re probably going to cost whatever institution(s) lent you this money a lot of money and inconvenience (ultimately). They and their investors are unhappy with you and for good reason. You’re breaking the contract that you signed. So, this “loss mitigation” process that you apparently find so tedious (so many questions!) is supposed to be inconvenient. It’s supposed to be painful. Why? As I said, you’re about to cost the owners of your loan money. You’re the problem. It’s understandable.

Now, you realize you were dumb and you’re trying to “work this out.” That’s a start. However, it’s probably not going to work. Things are probably still too institutionalized and bureaucratized [may not be a word] for your efforts to get anywhere. Thus, for you personally it’s probably better to just walk away from this thing, take the dings to your credit and come back in seven years and try ownership again when you’re better prepared for it. It ain’t the end of the world. You rolled the dice and lost. Move on. Don’t dwell on it. But remember, you aren’t the victim (and I don’t think you see yourself as the victim, which is good); the institutions who are going to absorb your loss are.