Manu,
I don’t really know your portfolio but will go out in the limb and say, sell the place! Especially if you could make a profit.
If you have to fight traffic 2 hours every day (wait till its start raining then it will be 2 hours for one way), its should make your decision easier. You also contradicting yourself about affortability of your mortgage, you said you could afford it but cannot save any money because of it. That means its not affortable and you should downsize (4200sq.ft for two people its just too much, just to clean that place you’ll need two cleaning maid).
Sell it as fast as you can, forget the additional fixing, priced it aggresivelly (it sounds like you could absorb some losses). Rent a condo closer to work, cut down the commuting and work to rebuild your relationship with your hubby. Just my 2 cents……