Thanks again for your answers.
SD realtor wrote- Basically there are plenty of neighborhoods that you will find within 1/2 hour from La Jolla that will be fine choices to raise your children.
Can you name some? Of course I will not pick a city based on what everybody writes here, and buy there, but only use your info as a starting point. We will go down to SD on the weekends and look. Since it seems like so many here live in San Diego I thought I could use the info to get a head start. I myself prefer nice craftsman’s houses, but as a mom I really like the new constructions, they tend to have lots of kids. Small grass backyard is fine.
For example, if you look at Mira Mesa on Zip realty, they have nice new homes, seems perfect but if you read on blogs you stumble over comments like “gang activity” “dangerous streets” etc. I don’t know, it is hard to get good info. All communities and cities seem so nice when you read about them.
We were in San Diego two weeks ago and drove in La Jolla and Del Mar. Very nice and expensive (I knew that, we looked just for fun) I talked to a realtor in an open house and told this story (me-La Jolla, my Husband downtown) and she seriously suggested Ocean side. I kind of decided at once that I should not ask her for any more advice. I am grateful for the info I can get, and I will not hold it against anybody.