I may not be rich, but I look awesome (for me, not objectively speaking) naked. I would say as good as I’ve ever looked.
Except when I pick my arms up. The slightest loosening of skin, plus a skin tag. damnit. I think I’ll be ok as long as I keep my arms down.
But I am one of those weird old guys whose face looks really aged and whose body doesn’t match it’s fucked up face, which might be even creepier than just being a naked consistent fat old guy, now that I think of it. Like Mr. Burns did a head transplant with some unsuspecting new hire at the nuclear plant.
There is no way I’m getting plastic surgery tho. I look weird enough in the face as it is. Anything else might be downright terrifying. I don’t even see my dad anymore, I’m looking straight into the visage of my grampa.
I can’t imagine either grampa getting Botox, or working on their jowls, and to honor their memory and legacy, as fairly authentically replicated and transitorily embedded in my current somewhat saggy mug, I will leave it as is, like an historical landmark.
To do otherwise would be to dishonor them, I think. Why would I deny them the satisfaction of seeing me morph into them?
My body skin is creepily well preserved, unlike this face, basically because I was an indoor cat for years, then a paranoid spf cat for the balance. Yet my face got exposed enough to look damaged.
I never go outside without a shirt, even in a pool id wear a swim shirt. scaredy is terrified of skin cancer. I wear denim jackets w a t shirt. Super high sun protection, actually fairly comfortable.
In short, blacks beach is out. Scaredy is also scared of sunscreens , only believes in heavy clothing.
One secret to always looking reasonably good through a lifetime, so simple, yet not followed…which should be taught to every HS student….never, ever , EVER buy bigger pants after age, say, 25.
Stop eating until you fit in your damn pants. You may buy smaller pants, but never bigger pants. But if you buy smaller pants, that’s it, that’s your number. So be sure.
Buying bigger new pants is basically saying, fuck it, I give up. And where does it end? Who knows, who cares, i’ll just keep buying pants.
It’s really not difficult if followed all yourlife to draw a line in the sand and say, I am a 32, I will always be a 32, and I refuse to not be 32.
Anyway, it’s never too late to say fuck it, I am never buying bigger pants ever again.
My dad always told me this was nice in theory, but wouldn’t work out in reality, and told me I’d be buying new pants someday. He turned out to be wrong on that one, and also about his prediction I’d be enjoying cigars by now, but right on a lot else I would’ve thought wrong at the time.
You can’t button your pants one day, so you skip a few meals, or become vegan and avoid everything you like, and it works itself out in a couple weeks.
You may recall squatting scaredy from many years ago, but scaredy has a new exercise regimen, far more portable. Burpee scaredy. You can Google burpees. What a thoroughly exhausting workout. So tiring you won’t even want to eat.
Another good check is to make sure you always can do X number of pullups. Same as the pants trick.
Vegan scaredy is very irritating, much more irritating than naked or burpee scaredy, he no longer discusses that topic anywhere including forums. Obviously all scaredies are annoying, but vegan scaredy is unbearable.
