I understand all of those feelings scaredy and have had most of them to one degree or the other. Well, okay the school hypnosis thing was kinda strange. The closest I came to that was when I was 6 or 7 and grew suspicious that the whole world was a charade that was using me as a scientific experiment, that my parents weren’t really my parents, etc. I decided to keep that thought to myself and watch for things that would prove my thesis. Several decades later they made a movie about that scenario: Truman.

That feeling faded after a few years and was gone by age 10.

I can remember walking around in about 1976 with a perpetual erection. Very embarrassing, but beyond my control.

I have fought the urge to spend too much time posing to make others happy. But I can tell you the opposite extreme ain’t great either…there needs to be an equilibrium in there somewhere. I suspect that equilibrium is partly what the Golden Rule is all about.

I used to feel inadequate about not being a genius. I’m mean I’m bright, but I’m aware there are others that are brighter. Then I worked for a company that was almost all Phds. I realized they effed up their lives worse than I did! Which led to the epiphany (to me anyway) that there is so much to learn in this world that no one can be an expert in everything. Sure they were brilliant in some areas, but that pretty much led to deficiencies in other areas.

You have something that is very valuable, scaredly. You are self deprecating and can pretty objectively evaluate yourself. Not many people can do that. It allows you to improve yourself while many others continue making the same mistakes and misunderstand the same situations throughout their life.

Also – remember how popular the topic of hypnosis was in the 1970s? Everyone talked about it! All sorts of articles on it! I’m sure that fed your thought process.

All sorts of things were popular in the past that are not even associated with those periods now. Lots of talk about gargling back then. Have no idea why. Nobody seems to remember that now. Mobiles hanging from the ceiling. Quadrophonic stereos. Roach clips. When was the last time you heard someone say “roach clip”? All they seem to remember now are lava lamps and pet rocks.