Both men and women are interested in sex. It’s OK. We’re designed to be. If G-d didn’t intend us to enjoy it, she’d have designed us to work something like: we need to have sex, or we die. (Sort of like ferrets, or Vulcan Pon Farr.)
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Sure, they’re both interested in sex. But that doesn’t mean they’re interested for the same reasons, or even in the same way, let alone the same amount.
Also, it’s more complicated than that. Some anthropologists think that rape occurred during our evolution as an adaptive behavior. Forced sex by males is common in nature. So a lack of interest in sex wouldn’t necessarily prevent a woman from passing on her genes. Certainly a lack of interest on the scale of a man’s interest wouldn’t.
[quote=spdrun]
Stop conditioning women that interest in sex is something bad, evil, or “slutty.” There’s nothing wrong with being interested in sex — in fact, this country would likely be a better place if people have more time for good sex (and proper knowledge of/lack of shame about birth control).
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If you stop conditioning women that interest in sex is something bad, evil, or “slutty,” they might be more interested. But not as interested (obsessed) as men.
[quote=spdrun]
Why the Puritanical view that sex is something people should be less interested in? The issue is CONSENT, not sex.
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Again, it’s more complicated than that. Louis CK had consent. Actual, verbal, out-loud consent.
[quote=spdrun]
If women were conditioned to be more clear about what they wanted and when they were interested, things would be a lot less ambiguous regarding consent. [/quote]
Sure. But wouldn’t that involve sterilizing the whole “game” that men and women play? The chase, the coyness, the signals, the romance, etc? That game is as old as society (or older). Could we accomplish that? Should we?
Maybe you’ve got a point there, though. Perhaps the natural tendencies of men and women are not compatible with society. Maybe the game we’ve been playing for thousands of years – women are sometimes coy and men are sometimes coercive (or worse) – just won’t work anymore. Maybe it’s never really worked in the context of society. Maybe we’ve always known it doesn’t work and now we’re finally getting around to holding ourselves responsible.
But what’s the alternative? Yes doesn’t always mean yes and no doesn’t always mean no. (Before anybody attacks – I’ve always taken no to mean no, as any provident man would. But that doesn’t mean that it always means no. It doesn’t.) How do you fix that? How do you eliminate the nebulousness that has been a part of human sexual relationships since there have been humans? Written contracts? I don’t see it working.
I’d be interested to hear any ideas about how that might work.
