Ahhh, I find this thread re-a-llly interesting. zk, you brought up some things here that indicate that YOU have your own issues that you are bringing here which have nothing to do with tidiness or cleanliness. zk, are you comparing yourself here to a pedophile or rapist who is “tidy?” What does being a pedophile or rapist have to do with tidiness?
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Can you smell peanut butter, bg? Science tells us that an early warning sign of Alzheimer’s is an inability to smell, and that if you can’t smell peanut butter, you should get further testing. I recommend that you head to the kitchen right now and check if you can smell peanut butter, because your ability to reason, which generally goes some time after the ability to smell, appears to be severely diminished.
Brian said, “clean, tidy people are superior. Superior in upbringing, and personal discipline.” I didn’t agree with this, and in order to demonstrate why I thought it was incorrect, I offered a hypothetical example of a person who was clean and tidy due to his upbringing, but was also a pedophile because of (another aspect of) his upbringing, therefore demonstrating that one could be tidy and not be superior in upbringing. I didn’t think it was that complicated at the time, but I guess I overestimated some of my audience.
[quote=bearishgurl]
zk, I find it very telling that your sample “tidy person,” (above) is a male who cheats on his wife and/or can’t control his spending, etc. In essence, you’ve stated here that you are a lifelong messy person by upbringing and habit yet are now only a “tidy person” because you feel you have to be to keep your relationship together. Infidelity, inability to control spending and failing to change oil in one’s vehicle are actually equally shared traits of both genders, none of which has anything to do with being a clean or “tidy” person.[/quote]
The only reason you think is it telling that my hypothetical is a male who cheats is that you don’t understand my hypothetical. It’s not a very complicated hypothetical, but a hypothetical is abstract, and abstract thinking is an early victim of Alzheimer’s. You really should get checked. Come back after the peanut butter test, and I’ll try to explain my hypothetical again, assuming you pass.
[quote=bearishgurl]
Might you yourself be struggling with both of these traits and so that’s why you used them in this discussion? Just wondering …. [/quote]
Might you be a murderer? Just wondering….
That makes as much sense as what you just said. Which is to say none at all.
But since you’re wondering, I’ll be happy to enlighten you. I have no problems with money. You don’t get a house like mine, the ability to pay it off at any time, and retire at 56, all on a government salary, if you’re not good with money. And I’ve been married 18 years and never cheated on my wife.
[quote=bearishgurl]
Based upon your posts and your own admission, you’re giving 97% in your relationship. Hope you’re getting your money’s worth :=0 [/quote]
Yeah, thanks for the marital advice, divorced lady.
Obviously you missed this from a previous post of mine:
[quote=zk] But, hey, to make a marriage work, you have to work together and compromise. I do most of the giving in this particular area, but she more than makes up for it in other areas. [/quote]
So, no, I’m not giving 97% in our relationship. I’m probably giving 35-45% overall. My wife is stronger than I am and able to give more. My wife is an amazing woman, and I’m extremely lucky to have her. We’ve been married 18 years and I’m happier than ever. We know how to make a marriage work. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, bg.
[quote=bearishgurl]
WOW, zk, it looks like you may have dumped about $100K?? in your backyard so you could comfortably entertain your friends! If you don’t mind my asking, did that ~$100K come from your salary? Or maybe your spouse’s salary?? Is the property half yours (half yours and half your spouse’s)? [/quote]
I don’t see it in terms of who owns what percentage. It’s my family’s house.
[quote=bearishgurl]
At the time you were dumping big bucks into your BY, were you aware that your spouse would later insist on you only being able to entertain just six people at a time? [/quote]
It was discussed at the time, and it was a point of contention. Concessions and compromises were made, many of them going my way and having nothing to do with the yard or the entertaining. We worked it out. That’s what people in successful marriages do.
[quote=bearishgurl]
Must all your guests be married or would your spouse approve a guest who was single? [/quote]
I have single friends and they come over regularly.
[quote=bearishgurl]
And I’m wondering why you left the carpet in the house when you purchased it if you planned on entertaining large groups of people? [/quote]
We like carpet. It’s soft and warm.
[quote=bearishgurl]
Having entertained at home a lot in the past myself (up to 240 people), I WELL KNOW how much work it is before, during and after the party. But for the life of me, I don’t know why one co-owner would be able to successfully prohibit the other co-owner from doing what they expected to do with their property at the time of purchase and the time of installing those subsequent (expensive) improvements. [/quote]
I don’t see my wife as a “co-owner.” I don’t think anybody in a successful marriage does. And if you don’t understand give-and-take, it’s no wonder you’re divorced.
[quote=bearishgurl]
The issue, zk, is that you are correlating being “tidy” with criminal behavior. A person who possesses organizational skills and the motivation and perseverance to get things done (i.e. can properly manage their household) isn’t necessarily (or usually) a criminal, as you attest here. You’re bringing in lots of other criminal propensities which have nothing to do with being “tidy” or “clean.” Why you’re bringing these off-the-wall traits in here to compare with “messy people” is anybody’s guess. [/quote]
Even after I explained it to you, you still don’t get it. But, just to get an idea of what twisted reasoning you’re using, please show me where I correlated being tidy with criminal behavior, and what I said and how you construed it that you think I’ve “attested” that “a person who possesses organizational skills and the motivation and perseverance to get things done (i.e. can properly manage their household) [is] necessarily (or usually) a criminal.”
[quote=bearishgurl]
What you’ve posted here shows that you not only were raised as a “messy person” (which is ok if you have the a partner who freely accepts that trait), but that you are on a very short leash at home. [/quote]
Giving something (tidying up after myself when I don’t really care to, and not having 60 people over at a time) does not equate to being on “a very short leash.” Yes, there is some giving involved. And there’s also some taking involved. And there’s some compromise and some work. The payoff is a very happy and content family life, and I’ll take it.
[quote=bearishgurl]
If you are ok with that (after all you claim here that you’ve been through to get your property as you want it), then so am I.
[/quote]
Oh, yippee, I’m validated. Oh, wait, that was prickly bitchiness masquerading as support. Well, in that case what I meant was fuck you.
[quote=bearishgurl]
Far be it from me to judge the “tacit arrangement” you have with your “co-owner,” whether you are satisfied with it … or not.
[/quote]
And yet judge you do.
