[quote=njtosd]
When I met my husband, we did the same job and earned the same, with the same education. Because he wanted me to relocate, and because we wanted to have kids soon after marriage (both of us were in our 30s), and because we both thought our kids would do best with a stay at home parent, we decided that I would stay home. I deliberately developed a well paying career, beginning in college, out of fear of being influenced by someone else’s paycheck. I out-earned most of the guys I dated.

I feel like I’ve followed my values – I may not have a funny bone (although I think I’m a stitch), but not all women are out for a success object.[/quote]

I think that’s a perfectly reasonable approach to life. One parent staying home until the youngest is in preschool or 1st grade.

We have friends married to each other who were both execs in this town for companies you all know and love. They decided he would stay home the first few years (she made way more) and then return to work part time, which he has. Worked out very well for them.

Was thinking the other day about the disagreement on “most” women seeking out men to support the family. I think maybe it all has to do with what folks think the question is that determines the answer.

If it were rephrased “are you looking for a spouse to support you entirely, without you working, through your life” I think the “yes” percent would be low for both men and women. (most women in the US work)

If the question were “are you looking for a spouse to HELP support the family, with you working when it makes sense” I think the “yes” percent would be high.

Hell, I would have answered “no” to the first and “yes” to the second…and so would my wife.