I feel like there’s too much group energy against CArenter’s position,
so that has made me rethink where im at and why I‘m coming from this. I hate ganging up on the underdog, especially when the underdog has essentially a good purpose.
When my kids were little, our life was total chaotic shit. I recall thinking that the entire USA sucked ass because it was so shitty for us as parents. We couldn’t get quality, affordable day care, hell we were having trouble just getting DAYCARE let alone meeting the other 2 criteria. I felt like this nation doesn’t give a RATS ASS about parents or my woes and that that WAS WRONG. Morally wrong. Wrong as a matter of social policy. Just mean and fucked up.
Somehow we survived. It was financially crappy. It would’ve been better for me to stay home. Yeah, I know lawyers have a rep for making tons of money, but that is not necessarily the case. It was about 7 years into my career before I broke 50k a year. When they were little I was earning between 28-32k. I had a large loan payment (since refinanced, but it was in the 1k a month range!) with 1200 a month in child care expenses, I was literally working for nothing; losing money every month, really. Plus the stress was unbelievable. I got charged $1.00 a minute for being late to day care, and sometimes I was in court and had to HAUL ASS to avoid fees, or would get dinged $5.00 and warned about being thrown out. Iw as just holding on for dear life and hoping for better days….or at least no more need for diapers…
IS THIS ANY WAY TO RUN A COUNTRY?????
No. no it’s not. The richest nation in the world does not have to treat parents as crap. And the reality is the nation doesn’t value child care, or parents who are struggling. The nation has made a collective decision; you all are on your fucking own, good luck.
That sucks. Now that it’s further in the past, I’m still a little pissed, but, as with many other things, you just kind of take reality as it is. I’m not in the business of lobbying my legislature for a more child and parent friendly nation.
The reality is no one gives a damn about me or my kids. It’s all on me. It’s an expense I undertook. But I’m trying to keep expenses low….its not just worth a high priced nanny and whatever else I might like. It’s worth whatever I have, but that’s not much.
I look at it this way. I had a burning desire for a 3,700 watch. HAD TO HAVE IT. Now there’s a replica that is almost identical on the outside (not the inside, but the outer appearance). It is around $300. Did I really make 3,400 if I buy the replica? Assuming I MUST HAVE THIS WATCH. Which may eb as strong a bio drive as your desire to have kids.
Another example; friend of mine, childless, high earner, 40s, loves her dogs. More recently, it seems like she’s getting a little crazy about them. Very large dogs with digestive problems. She is spending THOUSANDS a month on RAW MEAT for them. Fresh—must be purchased EVERY DAY. She ahs her hubby stopping to pick up the meat. There is a lot of other work involved with these hounds. If she were to pay someone to do it –and im not sure what youd have to pay to have someone clean up their diarrhea episodes…eesh—it would be minimum 20,000 a year. She takes them to DOGGIE DAYCARE fer chrissakes. This whole raw thing is gonna be trendy with dogs. Dog health. Huge vet bills… transportation. Staying up with them at nite when they’re not feeling well…researching their health issues…
If she quit her job and stayed home to take care of those dogs, could she really say to her husband, hey, six of one half dozen of the other, savings is income, could she say that taking care of the dogs is productive in terms of cash. It might sound crazy to you, but these dogs are her BABIES, she calls them the boys. She values their health over her own health. It’s nuts.
Well..seeing your kids like that is a bit the same…sure it has value…to her…maybe even her husband, I don’t know. But it’s not making money, and it’s not really making the world a better place…not really…
Should the nation be different? Should we provide greater support to parents?
Absolutely.
Would it be better if we valued helping parents raise decent children.
