[quote=Blogstar]Women can get criticized for staying at home…or working, both ways.My wife started full time work for the first time since we married, a lot of women are offering condolences as much as congratulations. I think most two working parent families wish someone could stay home with the really young kids. After they are 9 or 10 , it doesn’t hurt the kids one bit to spend more time in after school stuff with other kids from school. In some cases it’s a great benefit. They would be doing that at each others houses anyway. They start becoming more independent quickly(on their way to kicking us to the curb)
The problem with part time work with no out of school childcare is that it is difficult for many people to find anything decent on that schedule. We were really lucky that my wife’s part time work gave benefits and paid o.k. Also if the working parents job is unstable thats going to be terrifying and both are going to want to work ….just in case…It’s not an easy balancing act.
The only thing I find awkward is play dates.I don’t , and I think most men wouldn’t usually want young children not our own over at the house when the wife is not there.The exception is closer friends. Usually moms handle all of this….we are not in the habit of spending much time in parks at the beach or whatever with other people wives or with single moms. So if the mom can’t handle it , it either cuts into play date options,
or you just break with tradition : ). Usually women handle all the interactions with the primary schools which involves almost all women, teachers, staff and volunteers, again….break tradition. Men just don’t normally participate much in any female dominated aspect of this world.[/quote]
Good post, Russ. My DH is also one of the few men who will gladly attend playdates and is totally comfortable chatting with all the moms there; though he usually goes with me if he’s able to go at all. There are a few men like this among the families we hang out with, but there aren’t too many. Totally understand how it would be uncomfortable without the wife there, too, especially if you’re the only adult in charge of other people’s kids.
And your comment about work (bolded) is key to why many families have decided to have more parents stay home. After decades of rising numbers of mothers entering the workforce, things started reversing around the year 2000. Like I mentioned in elsewhere, many of the second earners are working for negative income after all of the expenses of working are factored in (taxes, childcare, clothing, transportation, higher food costs, less time to shop around for deals, etc.). And the way many school years are scheduled these days (stupid half-days, more vacations during the regular school year, odd days off, etc.), it’s almost impossible to have both parents working in jobs that will pay decently because somebody has to be available to pick up kids on time, and stay home with them when they’re sick. Most high-paying jobs don’t allow for that, so even if both are working, somebody is usually taking a financial hit because they have to take a job with more flexibility, which is most often a lower-paying job.
