Don’t worry scaredy, I’m in my 50’s and have grown children who have gone through many phases, but, with our guidance, they realized what they needed to do in order to achieve their dreams in life.
It’s sad to watch the “entitlement mentality” backfiring on many young people, because, in many ways it isn’t their fault that they can’t get great jobs or buy homes, etc., etc., (a long societal dissertation would be necessary to describe the “why,”) but the essence of it is that the game has changed, and they will learn that they either have to deal with life, or life will pass them by.
As your wife said, being understanding and patient is probably the best thing you can do for them and for yourself, even though it may or may not change their ultimate destiny.