I’d consider some hedge funds, or managed funds where you put your money in and let someone else trade it. They can’t access the money except to trade it and they take a small percentage of the funds in your account on a daily basis (such that it is about 1% a year).

If the min investments are small enough, split up the money between several of them.

Consider selling short European banks.

Definitely don’t buy a house from sdr cuz I’m not geeting a damn thing.