Mix,
Getting to and from the coast really isnt a problem if you live within 2 or 3 miles of the coast in North County. Driving on the freeway is the problem and always will be. There is only one coastal freeway and for that matter one inland freeway (15).
If you want to live in a metropolitan area traffic is part of the deal. Personally, I dont think the traffic is unbearable around here. Have you ever tried to get around NY, Boston, LA, Chicago, San Fran, Houston, Dallas, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Miami,Baltimore or DC?
I thought you worked from home and/or traveled most of the time. If I were you I’d find the community I really wanted to live in and wouldnt worry about the traffic. If you cant put up with it find a nice quiet small town instead.