They are ocean water safety engineers and the positions requires (unspoken of course) a graduate degree in oceanography and at least a six pack (they get a bonus for having a firm buttocks). So although countless hoards of substandard folks apply, curiously only those who know someone on the inside get this mentally incapacitating job, zit faced 16 year olds need not apply.

I heard once of a life guard who went to save someone, cut his foot on a sea urchin, got hepatitis, and became suicidal! It was either the hepatitis or the sun (I hear it rots your brain). He was on disability of at least a couple years. So make no mistake, they deserve this substandard pay and don’t get me started on their meager pensions.