I didn’t want to have to do this, but I think he reads piggington so I’m going to write a letter to god, not sure if I’m a believer but every guy that wakes me up on a Saturday morning says he listens, so here goes.
“God, seriously, I never really ask for much. I’m nice to people, I help everytime I can, I open doors for old people, I feed strays, I buy girl scout cookies. I’m fine with the fact that every time I back out of a potential investment it shoots to the moon without me. I appreciate your gifts (kudos on the wine tobacco, women and song) and I never take without asking. But I am afflicted with a passion for sports, one that I think is probably your fault, supposedly I was created in your image and in case you forgot, your image watches too much espn. It is not within my control that I find myself in San Diego at least one or two nights a week, where I only have access to basic cable yet I have high speed internet when I am there. I realize you favor BYU, Jimmer Ferdette and his magic underwear, but they are also in the Mountain West and have a terrible television contract too. So when you punish me, just think, you are also punsihing the non sinners. I just want to watch the Aztecs and the Lakers play basketball and the Chargers and Browns play football. You appreciate suffering, watching the Browns play is a form of suffering, one that I am accustomed to. Many people doubt you because of the holocaust, and you do have some explaining to do about that. But don’t make it any harder on yourself, don’t give the doubters any more ammunition, do you really need to be a dick. Just let us watch the Aztecs in their only great season in the last 90 years, we waited, we believed, we are the meek and we were promised our inheritence. Just think about it. If you still say no, then I’ll be expecting to get in on the IPO of the next google, I want to be madly in love for the rest of my life and not be dissapointed and everyone I know gets good health.”
