I wasn’t even slightly nervous. Ok but seriously I was fearful and nauseated. I don’t aim to calm you down since your terror may be instinctually correct. First you should expect to have your entire downpayment lost as soon as you write the check. It’s like a loan to an untrustworthy friend you’ll feel better if you kiss it goodbye. Second you should be ready willing and able to live in this dump a long time. Third you should have zero expectations of good things happening financially in the future. Once you relinquish these things you can relax.