On one hand, I’m trying not to push my kid too hard. At the same time, it’s kinda in my blood too, and especially it doesn’t help to have peers to that are doing the same with their kids. I keep saying each kid is different so no worries, but I don’t want to screw this up.[/quote]
I think there is a huge difference between trying to teach your kids something and pushing them too hard. It is an important distinction, though, and I understand where you are coming from now that you have said this.
If you make it all a game, it isn’t pushing them too hard. If they like to learn, then let them absorb all they can as soon as possible. I would say “pushing them too hard” for a 4-year old would be making them study something they don’t have interest in, giving them a rigorous study schedule, encouraging them to be intellectually competitive with their friends, and pushing them to do something they don’t wane, even after they have exceeded their “normal” expectations.
There is also a fine line between telling them they are doing well and giving them a big head about it such that they brag about it. If they really are picking up some concepts early, you have to teach them not to be jerks. If your kid really is smarter than their kid, you don’t want your kid to make it known.
So, teaching them to be good friends is just as important as teaching them to be good students.