if i were a bank and i just woke up surrounded by zombies and bad loans, i would…

kill the zombies. aim for the head.
roll the bad loans into other bad loans. 10 year interest only, 50 year terms.
“persuade” the govnt to increase immigration quotas, keep devaluing the dollar to increase exports, push stiffer bankruptcy/default laws, essentially establishing debtor’s prisons.

i’d want to keep borrowers locked in to their inflated mortgages at all costs. by also encouraging exports and immigration, i help the situation by increasing local demand for homes and increasing local wealth. debtors prison is the final “encouragement” to keep people from walking from their homes.

should things collapse anyway, i pack up all the debtors onto the space shuttle mayflower, to have them colonize and mine the moon.