Wow, thanks for sharing it. I’m only in my mid 30s and sometimes experience similar symptoms as you. But I gotta say your life and your list sound A LOT more exciting than ours! Our life is completely consumed in our small children and my career.

On a certain level I think it’s perfectly normal or even healthy to experience some of the things you mentioned like wondering about the meaning and purpose of one’s life. But what you describe definitely has an element of depression in it. As a fellow Christian, I strongly suggest you seek the Lord Jesus’true peace, which “surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7), through in depth reading of the scriptures and truly seeking the Lord’s face behind a closed closet door. This is as opposed to seeking God through rituals and or religious activities, which by no means are bad things themselves. Another thing I find extremely helpful is to have Christian friends who can strengthen and support you spiritually and otherwise.

I go to New Hope Church (10330 Carmel Mountain Road
San Diego, CA 92129-3215). You’re welcome to try it. It’s a stand-alone and non-denominational. Of the many things we like about it, the biggest thing to me is their focus on seeking God on the personal level and seeking His glory. This is hard to find nowadays with most churches being either legalistic or a lukewarm mean-nothing social club.