Not a realtor but I agree with their Del Mar suggestion based on what you said your wife wants.

La Jolla is wonderful, but not crime free. And walkable to the beach gets really pricy or you’re in the more dense (therefore higher crimes) part of LJ. Anectdotal La Jolla crime story: my grandmother was walking from the League House (White Sands area) to LJ Presbyterian on a Sunday afternoon – she had her purse sliced/grabbed. La Jolla is not crime free – even in what appear to be very safe neighborhoods.

I like Rancho Santa Fe for the large lots sizes and feeling of space – but it’s not walkable to the beach.

Del Mar offers everything you described. All of my Del Martian friends love it.