OK then. All of that is a touchy situation and you handled it well. Rule 1-10, you cannot give a cheaper gift to somebody that has already given your kid a gift. That is unless somebody way overspends on your kid, then do not have to overspend on theirs. It gets easier as they get older. On the donating part, I would put that all gifts brought to your party will be donated by you to XYZ. That gives parents the out on buying a less expensive gift that they won’t be critiqued on.