“He who hesitates is lost” I think you have come up with some good ideas Scaredy. It is the compromise you are making with your wife that is going to make your deal average or worse eventually. Get the property you want. You clearly have the ideas that will make it a sure success.
If if were me. I would win that argument flat out….unless perhaps it was much more than 50% her money. Play the victim and bully alternately and get your damn way. Tell her buying a house is a huge compromise to make, so her half of the compromise will be buying what you say or you don’t buy. Threaten to move to Arkansas as an alternate fair compromise. Let her pick the compromise not the house.
It may be a risky move, but it beats jumping out of perfectly good airplanes for an adrenaline rush and confidence building… in my book.