here’s the problem. I actually want it. i might even fight to get it. i keep running through numbers in my mind. what i’d like to pay. what i’d be willing to pay. what’s the absolute max I could pay before vomiting. I don’t know…i just don’t know….

there’s a lot to be said for renting…

of course, i was terrified to have children, and they turned out to be really good. and fun; that would have been awful, if Id been too scared to have them…. buying this house, even if i overpay a bit, probably won’t be as disastrous as what runs through my mind. except of course that I will probably die there…or a nearby hospital, if I am less lucky…