[quote=scaredycat]why is it socially acceptable for women to bitterly and endlessly complain about their husbands? If guys try that, I think generally they are accused of being ingrates (she raised your children! suck it up!). Wouldn’t it just be cheaper and easier to get rid of her and pay a nanny? Except for the alimony of course.[/quote]

I absolutely agree, however, I think that the types of women that tend to complain are the ones who marry a certain type of man (Tom Lykis, e.g.). They are matched sets. These types, both the men and the women are out for what THEY can get and only that.
There’s no sense of trying to do what will make the other person happy.
Then there are those who figure that they’ll just keep dating and not marry so that both will stay in the “trying to please mode”, but that isn’t the answer either. There’s no depth to a relationship that’s hanging so tenuously without any real commitment. It’s especially bad for children if you do it that way because there is no sense of security. Plus it teaches the kids that it’s ok to flit from person to person (usually scattering illegitimate children along the way).
I think the answer is in choosing a quality person whose values match yours and then both working really hard to make the OTHER person’s life better. If people went into marriage with that philosophy every marriage would be great.