O.K. here is a snapshot of San Diego County, semi-rural living from someone who actually does it.
I live on 20 acres.Probably similar to things you can see in Valley Center. It’s 20 minutes to the nearest actual suburb, all the amenities suburbs have and my kid’s schools.It is 45 minutes to downtown and beaches but half of it is scenic.My older kids can ride the bus to school but we frequently take them too. The first suburban community we come to is Rancho San Diego and it is becoming pretty nice.
The distance to amenities/activities is the one aspect the OP mentioned and it is a drag sometimes for my wife and me. It works for us because my wife works part time and I have always lived a semi-retired lifestyle with much of my modest earning originating from home/home office. We only use day care moderately, for socialization, so we were taking care of our kids at home anyway and plan day care for when it is convenient to our in-town schedules. Most of my neighbors commute to work everyday and still want to live here over their other choices.
The other thing I believe people are talking about on the thread is aesthetics. If the goal is to live “country estate” or “private resort” it is going to be a very expensive endeavor. If one can actually tolerate living country-like , it is a lot of of work but not economically worse than living on a smaller more manicured lot and beautifully appointed property.
We have huge views of mountains and the city and some ocean views. My kids live in modern house in campground like setting. My estate type neighbor offered to put a gate in our shared fence to his jacuzzi and pool. I garden a lot and build things/weld ect. I have room for all that and will probably eventually have a barn or warehouse to work out of. I get to drive a tractor. We threw a spring celebration party and had room for 150 guests, a steel drum band, 3 ponies, llamas,several bonfires, a soccer game and skeet shooting.Next time we will do an underground pig roast.
I derive a benefit from the larger lot in that it is zoned for a legal rental in addition to the main house. Sure the lot isn’t worth a fortune but that rental can pay my mortgage and taxes or house family members in the future.
My houses are built for the climate. The hottest daily high average is for the months of July and August and it is 89 for each month.The nightime average are 63 or so, and it usually gets there shortly after dusk. We don’t don’t have “June gloom”, not that I would mind it. We are in a high fire zone but safe in my opinion.
Electricity, which includes getting lots of water from the well has averaged $50.Most peoples water bills are higher than that, even in tract homes. $800 worth of propane have gone more than a year now. The second house is smaller/more efficient so the bills will be lower for it.