[quote=scaredycat]library. check. every week. voracious reader.

museums. check . occasional (usually not inspiring).

work with him. check. we have nightly dinner table conversations about my interesting line fo work which is related tomany lfie issues.

…[/quote]

OK. Good.
How about sporting events (my kids LOVE going to soccer, basketball games in person), toy stores, hands-on science stuff ? Just thoughts.

[quote=scaredycat]why is it either/or? does this ultimately come down to “money is dirty” argument? I wonder whether some of the “just get out there in the world and spend time with the” theorists actually have kids in an actual school system. it’s not like some fantasy ncie school. it’s a mill…[/quote]

I have kids in the school system.
You’ll never get the “money is dirty” arg from me. I started paying my kids allowance when they were 4. They (twins) are 7 now and get paid by the job for chores. As such, they volunteer to work.

I think you have seen two questions.
1) Is it the right motivator ?
2) Is it motivating the right thing ?

Regarding #1 – Does he get allowance and spend his own money on things now, or does he need to come to you for money and things ? If he hasn’t had an allowance and hasn’t had to manage money as a scarce resource, then getting the money for grades won’t mean as much to him, I think. i.e. could be the wrong motivator.

Even if it is the right motivator, you say the school is a mill and just cranks out the homework – something you obviously aren’t loving. Well, if you pay him to get good grades, you are paying him to excel in an environment you don’t sound too happy with. Just seems odd to me.

Also, unless he shows some tendency to not get good grades, why bother ? Maybe the Kennedy kids would have excelled without the cash motivation. You’ll never know if you just throw money at the problem before it is a problem.

That is to say – maybe cash for grades is a good short-term motivator for a kid who is not doing well, but why go there if you don’t have to ?